Now For The Fun Stuff!


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Why Do Elephants Wear Green Shoes?
So They Can Hide In Your Lawn!
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Why Do Elephants Wear Red Polka-Dotted Shoes?
So They Can Hide In A Strawberry Patch!

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How Can You Tell Elephants Love To Travel?
They Are Always Packing Their Trunk!

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What Would You Get If You Give A Cat A Lemon?
A Sour Puss!

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What Did The Snake Say To His Girlfriend?
"C'Mon, Let's Hiss And Make Up"

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What Do Cats Like For Breakfast?
Mice Krispies!

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How Do You Make A Swiss Roll?
Push Him Down A Hill!

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What Type Of Dog Has No Tail?
A Hot Dog!

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Where Do Eskimos Keep Their Money?
Snow Banks!



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Andy Was Away From School For 2 Days Because He Had The Flu
On The Third Day When He Went Back To School
His Teacher Asked Him How He Felt
I Feel With My Hands Miss, Andy Said!

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Teacher:

I Hope That I Didn't See You Looking At Billy's Test Paper, Alex

Alex:

I Hope So Too!

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Knock Knock
Who's There?
Banana
Banana Who?
Knock Knock
Who's There?
Orange
Orange Who?
Orange Glad I Didn't Say Banana?

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What Side Of A Monster Has More Hair?
The Outside!

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Where Does Saddam Hussain Keep His CD's?
In Arack

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What Is The Fastest Milk?
Past Your Eysed!

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What Do You Get When You Take The Inside Out Of A Hotdog?
A Hollow Weinee!

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Why Did The Cucumber Blush?
Because He Saw The Salad Dressing!

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What Did The Farmer Say When He Lost His Tractor?
Where's My Tractor!

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Where Is The Best Place In School To Grow Plants?
In The Kinder-Garden!

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Doctor, Doctor
I Have This Stabbing Pain In My Eye When I Drink Iced Tea?
Take The Spoon Out!

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Knock Knock
Who's There?
Cow
Cow Who?
Cow's Don't Say Who Silly!

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What Do You Call A Bell Wearing A TuTu?
A Bellerina!

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Last Night I Dreamt I Ate A Giant MarshMallow
When I Woke Up My Pillow Was Gone!

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Why Did The Monkey Fall Out Of The Tree?
He Let Go!

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Silly Isn't It?
*Smiles*


Make YourSelf A And Have Fun!

Kid's Crafts
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Pinecone Bird Feeders

Large pinecones
Peanut butter (Birds prefer chunky over smooth!)
Shortening
Cornmeal
Birdseed (optional)
Fishing line, string or yarn


Wrap and tie string to top of pinecone
Mix peanut butter, shortening
Such as bacon fat or melted suet and cornmeal
Then, spread the mixture onto a large pinecone
Hang your bird feeder in a spot where you can watch the birds eat

Note:

If you use smooth instead of chunky peanut butter
You may want to mix in a little bird seed for added interest and enjoyment
Did you know?
Birds have trouble digesting peanut butter!
It can also get stuck in their beaks
This is why bird experts recommend the addition of shortening and cornmeal when preparing homemade birdfeeders of this type
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PlayDough

2 cups flour
4 teaspoons cream of tartar
1 cup salt
1 1/2 - 2 cups boiling water
3 - 4 Tablespoons vegetable oil
Food coloring


Add oil and food coloring to boiling water
Combine remaining ingredients and mix well
As you knead it, the dough will get smoother
Store in airtight container
Very pliable and easy to roll or sculpt

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Edible Peanut Butter PlayDough

1/2 cup peanut butter
1/2 cup honey
1 cup powdered milk

Knead until smooth


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Kool-Aid Enhanced PlayDough

Try a variety of Kool Aid flavors and colors
Also add a little alum to the dry ingredients
This Will preserve the playdough for a longer time

2 cups flour
4 teaspoons cream of tartar
1 cup salt
1 1/2 cups boiling water
3 - 4 Tablespoons vegetable oil
Kool Aid


Add one package of Kool Aid mix, oil and food coloring to boiling water
Combine remaining ingredients
Mix well
As you knead it, the dough will get smoother
Store in airtight container
Delightfully scented, very pliable and easy to roll or sculpt

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Bakeable "Salt Clay"

Use cookie cutters or mold Salt Clay by hand
Then bake in a 300 degree oven
Can be used in creating refrigerator magnets
Jewelry
Ornaments
Keychains
Necklaces and more

Stir Together:

2 cups plain flour
1 cup salt
1 to 1 1/2 cups cold water
2 tablespoons cooking oil

Knead well until it forms a soft ball
Line a baking tray with aluminum foil, make the shapes you want
Bake in the oven at 300 degrees or until hard, about one hour

You can use food coloring to color dough before you bake it Or paint it afterwards
A finishing coat of shellac or clear acrylic will make your salt clay products last longer

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Bubbles

1 cup water
1/3 cup dish soap, Joy, Sunlight, etc.
2 Tablespoons light corn syrup


Combine ingredients and enjoy
If you don't have bubble blowers around the house
Be creative and try using different objects from your utensil drawer
Apple corers, potato masher, handles of a basting brush, etc. work

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Finger Paint

1/4 cup cornstarch
2 cups water
food coloring


Mix ingredients in saucepan
Boil until mixture thickens
Allow to cool
Then pour into jars or other storage containers and color with food coloring
Best used on a glossy paper, such as butcher or shelf paper

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"Play Slime"

Corn starch
Water
Food coloring, optional


Put cornstarch in bowl
Add enough water to make a paste
You may also add food coloring
This makes a messy slime that goes from liquid to solid
It is great fun to play with

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Brighter-Than-Ever* Rice Collage

1 cup rice
Approximately 1 teaspoon rubbing alcohol
Food coloring
Paper
Elmer's glue


To color rice
Add a few drops of food coloring to alcohol in a jar or ziploc bag
Add rice and shake
Let dry on waxed paper

Warning:

This makes a Mess!
Wear an apron and cover work area with newspaper

Children can put some glue on a piece of paper and sprinkle rice onto it

If you don't have the time or the patience to make colored rice
Kids can also make great collages using any number of everyday items
If you have noodles
Beans
Split peas or other dry goods in your cupboard
You have the makings for a fun and interesting collage

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