Cops 3





Dispatcher

9-1-1 What Is your Emergency?

Caller

I Heard What Sounded Like Gunshots
Coming From The Brown House On The Corner

Dispatcher

Do You Have An Address?

Caller

No
I'm Wearing A Blouse And Slacks
Why?




Dispatcher
9-1-1

What Is Your Emergency?

Caller

Someone Broke Into My House
And Took A Bite Out Of My Ham And Cheese Sandwich

Dispatcher

Excuse Me?

Caller

I Made A Ham And Cheese Sandwich
I Left It On The Kitchen Table And When I Came Back From The Bathroom
Someone Had Taken A Bite Out Of It

Dispatcher

Was Anything Else Taken?

Caller

No
But This Has Happened To Me Before And I'm Sick And Tired Of It




Dispatcher
9-1-1
Fire Or Emergency?

Caller

Fire!
I Guess

Dispatcher

How Can I Help You Sir?

Caller

I Was Wondering
Does The Fire Department Put Snow Tire Chains On Their Trucks?

Dispatcher

Yes Sir
Do You Have An Emergency?

Caller

Well
I've Spent The Last 4 Hours Trying To Put These Snow Chains On My Tires
And
Well
Do You Think The Fire Department Could Come Over And Help Me?

Dispatcher

Help You What?

Caller

Help Me Get These Chains On My Car!






Dispatcher

9-1-1
What Is The Nature Of Your Emergency?

Caller

I'm Trying To Reach Nine Eleven
But My Phone Doesn't Have An Eleven On It



Dispatcher

This Is Nine Eleven

Caller

I Thought You Just Said It Was Nine-One-One

Dispatcher

Yes, Sir
Nine-One-One And Nine-Eleven Are The Same Thing

Caller

Ma'am

I May Be Old
But I'm Not Stupid




Dispatcher
9-1-1

What's The Nature Of Your Emergency?

Caller

My Wife Is Pregnant And Her Contractions Are Only Two Minutes Apart

Dispatcher

Is This Her First Child?

Caller

No
You Idiot!
This Is Her Husband!




Dispatcher
9-1-1

Caller

Yeah
I'm Having Trouble Breathing
I'm All Out Of Breath
Damn
I Think I'm Going To Pass Out

Dispatcher
Sir
Where Are You Calling From?

Caller

I'm At A Pay Phone
North And Foster
Damn

Dispatcher

Sir
An Ambulance Is On The Way
Are You An Asthmatic?

Caller

No

Dispatcher
What Were You Doing Before You Started Having Trouble Breathing?

Caller

Running From The Police






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