An old man and his dog were walking down this dirt road with fences on both sides
They came to a gate in the fence and looked in
It was nice - grassy, woody areas, just what a 'huntin' dog and man would like
But it had a sign saying "No Trespassing" so they walked on
They came to a beautiful gate with a person in white robes standing there
"Welcome to Heaven" he said
The old man was happy and started in with his dog following him
The gatekeeper stopped him
"Dogs aren't allowed, I'm sorry but he can't come with you"
"What kind of Heaven won't allow dogs?
If He can't come in, then I will stay out with him
He's been my faithful companion all his life, I can't desert him now"
"Suit yourself, but I have to warn you
The Devil's on this road and he'll try to sweet talk you into his area
He'll promise you anything, but, the dog can't go there either
If you won't leave the dog, you'll spend Eternity on this road"
So the old man and dog went on
They came to a rundown fence with a gap in it, no gate, just a hole
Another old man was inside
"Scuse me Sir, my dog and I are getting mighty tired
Do You mind if we come in and sit in the shade for awhile?"
"Of course, there's some cold water under that tree over there
Make yourselves comfortable"
"You're sure my dog can come in?
The man down the road said dogs weren't allowed anywhere"
"Would you come in if you had to leave the dog?"
"No sir, that's why I didn't go to Heaven
He said the dog couldn't come in
We'll be spending Eternity on this road
A glass of cold water and some shade would be mighty fine right about now
But, I won't come in if my buddy here can't come too, and that's final"
The man smiled a big smile and said "Welcome to Heaven"
"You mean this is Heaven?
Dogs ARE allowed?
How come that fellow down the road said they weren't?"
"That was the Devil
He gets all the people who are willing
To give up a life long companion for a comfortable place to stay
They soon find out their mistake, but, then it's too late
The dogs come here, the fickle people stay there
GOD wouldn't allow dogs to be banned from Heaven
After all, HE created them to be man's companions in life
Why would he separate them in death?"
Author Unknown
Special Purchase
You can't buy loyalty, they say
I bought it though, the other day
You can't buy friendship- tried and true
Well just the same, I bought that too
I made my bid and on the spot
Bought love and faith and a whole lot
Of happiness- so all in all
The purchase price was pretty small
I bought a simple trusting heart
that gave devotion- from the start
If you think these things are not for sale
Buy a brown eyed "Boxer Pup" with a wagging tail
Author Unknown
Dogs Live Here
If you don't want to be greeted with paws and swinging tails
Don't come inside because dogs live here
If you don't like the feel of a cold nose or wet tongue
Don't come inside because dogs live here
If you don't want to step over many scattered toys
Don't come inside because dogs live here
If you think that a home ought to smell of perfume
Don't come inside because dogs live here
But if you don't mind all of this...you will be instantly loved
When you come inside because dogs live here
Author Unknown
Room For One More Dog
I see by his coat he must be a stray
The untidy look gives him away
He's lost his will and is so thin
Hasn't eaten, since God knows when
I know as I coax him through the door
There's always room for one more
The other night in the freezing rain
That little female came again
Matted and soaked crying in need
Lost and alone with babies to feed
Her pleading eyes I couldn't ignore
There's always room for one more
There's a new face on the docks today
Hungry but clean to our dismay
I stroked her head her body rippled when she got up
I saw she was crippled she started to go, but fell on the floor
There's always room for one more
There's the poor doggy standing in the rain
I've tried to entice him time and again
One ears lopsided the other's been torn
Blind in one eye lost and forlorn
He's coming now, so i'll open the door
There's always room for one more
These stories are true, as I've said before
There's always room for one more
Author Unknown
Doggie Dictionary
LEASH
A strap which attaches to your collar
Enabling you to lead your person where you want him/her to go
DOG BED
Any soft, clean surface
Such as the white bedspread in the guest room
Or the newly upholstered couch in the living room
DROOL
Is what you do when your persons have food and you don't
To do this properly you must sit as close as you can and look sad
Let the drool fall to the floor
Better yet, on their laps
GARBAGE CAN
A container which your neighbors put out once a week to test your ingenuity
You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off with your nose
If you do it right you are rewarded with margarine wrappers to shred
Beef bones to consume
And moldy crusts of bread
BICYCLES
Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fa.
To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out
Bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards
The person then swerves and falls into the bushes
And you prance away
DEAFNESS
This is a malady which affects dogs
When their person wants them in and they want to stay out
Symptoms include staring blankly at the person
Then running in the opposite direction or lying down
THUNDER
This is a signal that the world is coming to an end
Humans remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms
So it is necessary to warn them of the danger by trembling uncontrollably
Panting
Rolling your eyes wildly
And following at their heels
WASTEBASKET
This is a dog toy filled with paper
Envelopes
And old candy wrappers
When you get bored
Turn over the basket
Strew the papers all over the house until your person comes home
SOFAS
Are to dogs like napkins are to people
After eating it is polite to run up and down the front of the sofa
And wipe your whiskers clean
BATH
This is a process by which the humans drench the floor
Walls
And themselves
You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently
LEAN
Every good dogs's response to the command "Sit !"
Eespecially if your person is dressed for an evening out
Incredibly effective before black-tie events
BUMP
The best way to get your human's attention
When they are drinking a fresh cup of coffee or tea
SNIFF
A social custom to use when you greet other dogs
Place your nose as close as you can to the other dogs rear end
Inhale deeply
Repeat several times or until your person makes you stop
GOOSE BUMP
A maneuver to use as a last resort
When the Regular Bump doesn't get the attention you require
Especially effective when combined with The Sniff
See above
LOVE
Is a feeling of intense affection
It is given freely and without restriction
The best way you can show your love is to wag your tail
If you're lucky
A human will love you in return
Author Unknown
My Friend
A friend I knew walked by today
It made me feel downcast
But when he turned and came to me
The time sped by so fast
His joy and sparkle cheered me up
With such friends we cannot fail
As he left to go, I waved my hand
But he just wagged his tail
Author Unknown
A Birthday Poem From The Dog
You feed me when I'm hungry
You keep water in my dish
You let me sleep on anything
Or in any place I wish
You sometimes let me lick your hands
Or even lick your face
Despite the fact I've licked myself
In every private place
You taught me how to come when called
You taught me how to roll
You always let me go outside
So I can take a stroll
I've been with you through oh so much
Through laughter and through tears
I hope you live to be a hundred
That's 700 in doggy years!
Author Unknown
Want To Know How Old You Are In Dog Years?
The Little Dog Angel
High up in the courts of Heaven today
A little dog angel waits
With the other angels he will not play
But sits alone at the gates
"I know that my master will come, says he
And when he comes he will call for me"
He sees the spirits that pass him by
As they hasten toward the throne
And he watches them with a wistful eye
As he sits at the gates alone
"I know if I just wait patiently
Some day my master will come," says he
And his master, far on the earth below
As he sits in his easy chair
Forgets sometimes and he whistles low
For the dog that isn't there
And the little dog angel cocks his ears
And dreams that his master's call he hears
I know when at last his master waits
Outside in the dark and cold
For the hand of Death to open the gates
That lead to those courts of gold
The little dog angel's eager bark
Will comfort his soul in the shivering dark
Author Unknown
How The Dog Got A Wet Nose
When a man named Noah started building a boat in the middle of the desert
Everybody laughed
They thought he was daft
But Noah wasn't listening to them
He was listening to the God of the Hebrews, who said to build a boat
So Noah built a boat
Noah called his boat an ark
When he finished it, he rounded up all the animals
Two by two, to travel on his ark
People laughed at Noah's Opossums
Panthers
And Penguins
They laughed at his Cheetahs
Chinchillas
Giraffes
Gazelles
Rhinoceroses
And Hippopatamuses
Into the ark went all the animals
Two by two
Pretty soon, it started to rain
It rained, and it poured, and it rained some more
People stopped laughing and the ark started floating
Noah and his family and all the animals, two by two,rode safely on the waters
They sailed for 40 days and 40 nights
When the rains stopped, out of the ark came Noah and his family
All of the animals, two by two, except one
No one could find the little dog
Noah searched everywhere
He looked on the first deck
He looked on the second deck
Then the third deck
Finally in the farthest corner in the lowest deck, he found the little dog
The dog was shivering and cold
He was standing with his nose pressed hard against the side of the boat
"Come here, little dog!" called Noah
It's time to come out!
Here, doggie, doggie!"
The little dog wouldn't move
Noah gently pulled him away
"What's this?" said Noah
"A hole in the Ark!
The ark might have sunk!
Little dog!
You kept us safe
Me, my family, and all of the animals, two by two with your little nose!"
The little dog was proud
But mostly, he was hungry
"Little dog," said Noah, as he pulled out a juicy bone
"So all the world and all the generations will know your great deed
Your nose will always be cold and wet, just as it is today"
That's how the dog got his cold, wet nose
When you feel it
Remember the little dog who used his nose to protect Noah
His family
And all of the animals
Two by two
